Today started off so much better- I finally got some rest and woke up at a normal time. We're going to Busan tonight so we had to pack up because check-out was at 11 and we were going on Agency visits during that time, so we stored our bags in a room until we return. My sister and I went out to breakfast; I had lemon berry ade and a bacon egg BLT.
We split up into groups to go to our Agencies. My sister was adopted from KSS but I was adopted from Holt (there are a few others too). Holt is a huge agency still operating, whereas KSS is no longer running so she visited the abandoned buildings she was in.
When we arrived at Holt, we were greeted by a bunch of social workers who would review our case. While we waited for our turn, we were allowed to go up to the nursery to see babies that were waiting to be adopted. I was the first one up there, and spent the longest in there. The first few moments there were the first time I've gotten emotional on this trip; I couldn't stop crying. The kids probably thought I was crazy. But I felt so sad for them. I was surprised it was all boys (5). Almost immediately one of them, Tung Han, latched onto me. He lifted up his arms and wanted me to hold him and wouldn't let me go for the rest of the time I was there.
The space for the kids was a series of rooms (one with cribs, one with toys, one that seemed like it was for the little babies) all interconnected by a hallway. The kids all seemed to spend most of their time in the hallway.
One of the boys (the oldest) just seemed to want to sweep up and down the hallway with a swiffer.
The babies all seemed to be well taken care of; I saw them have snacks and mixing formula and they had plenty of toys and books. But they all seemed sick or unwell- a few had visible colds, my Tung had eczema on his face and body, and one of the boys had a cleft palate and a tube which made me think he had other problems. There was even a super fat baby...look at those cheeks!
I took Tung into the playroom to read him some books and the older two that could walk came in as well. I tried to read them all some books but Tung got a bit jealous and would not let me pay attention to the other ones.
It was very hard to leave, but I still had to meet with my caseworker. Tung clutched at my clothes and clung to me when I tried to put him down. I finally peeled him off of me and he started to cry. I left hearing his cries through the elevator door. It was pretty close to heartbreaking. I whispered to him that he was going to be okay, but who knows what will happen to him.
So, that was a pretty emotional experience for me. Luckily I got all my tears out before speaking with my case worker so I was really able to focus on my file and ask all the questions I had prepared. Since I have a reunion scheduled, they were much more open with me than I've heard they have been with others. I was told my birth mother's name: Paik In-Soon. In the file, she was described as sociable and outgoing, average height and weight, and having very distinguished (Western) features (eyes, nose, lips). She described my birth father as "gentle" but "average looking"...poor guy.
I was told I could not locate my birth father because they have no identifying information for him, but I was very lucky because my mother had left her real name and 13-digit identification number with them when she relinquished me. They said that was very rare- most people do not leave accurate information, and that was how they were able to look her up in the government database and contact her last week. The ID number is kind of like our SSN but the first six digits are birth year and date, so it's very helpful to have.
They sent her a telegram and she called back immediately. The social worker said this kind of quick response was also very rare. There are still only 3 of us out of the 17 participants that have made contact and scheduled reunions.
One woman has already reunited, but it wasn't anything she expected it to be. This has definitely taught me to manage my expectations and be prepared for anything. I know this is a "secret" reunion, but the social worker also said that my being pregnant and having children may change things for her- she may be more interested in knowing me more. I guess I'll find out Monday.
After we met with the social workers, they took us out to lunch. I've been so surprised at the generosity of this program, its sponsors and the collaborating agencies; I have not spent more than $50 on this trip.
This was the first restaurant we sat on the floor; I'm normally game for this but this pregnancy I've been a little less tolerant of suboptimal conditions.
As usual, I ate too much...we headed back to BOA to drop off our paperwork, then we had free time for the rest of the day, til we had to leave for Busan at 7:30.
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